SxxTxx wrote: The grass's greener on my side. I'm not moving.
Wait a minute, what's this grass you got over there?
But oh, Sxxxxxxx started fabletime:
Once upon a time I was riding on a train where there were these unruly kids. Their grandmother tried to make them sit still while she told a story, but it didn't sit too well with them that it was about this very well behaved girl that had the whole town turn out to save her. Probably they only tried so hard because she was so well mannered and good. (Yawn) Sorry, it was putting me to sleep. So I decided to try my hand and see if I could get a moments' peace. I started telling them about this terrible little girl who was good all the time. Didn't do well in school, couldn't have any friends, she was just horribly good.
Now these kids didn't have a clue where this was going, so they peeled themselves off the walls and sat there in front of me so they wouldn't miss anything. I proceeded to tell them of how, everytime the other kids became unruly in class, she would fold her hands on the desk just as the evil black habit women had told them to do.
So every year the boys would be forced to wear the painfully tied shut collars on a hot day, the girls had to sit quietly, while the painfully well behaved girl received yet another good conduct medal from the evil black habit women. She could wear an increasing number of those medals at a time, what with the "Large Tracts of Land" she was developing. A long, dark shadow was cast over the place, where there was great suffering. One day she decided to show off her medals again, pinning each on what was beginning to seem like a billboard and walking into the town seeking attention.
As everyone in the town fled such a painfully well behaved individual the moment they caught sight of her, she found herself walking through town alone. She decided to go to the one place where everyone in town could see her from whereever they were; The King's own hill. Because she was so gawdawful good all the time, she was allowed to go there any time she wanted. But this was not a good day to go there.
As soon as she entered the clearing, she saw a pack of wolves. And they saw her. She ran to the bushes and hid, while the wolves kept looking for her. Fortunately for her she'd been there so many times that her scent was everywhere, the wolves were having a hard time finding her. Certainly people in the town saw she was in danger. Certainly they'd be rushing to save someone so well behaved as herself.
Suddenly the pin came open on one of her many good conduct medals, sticking her right in a large tract of land. "Ow," she screamed, leading to more screaming, as the wolves pounced on her and ripped her limb from limb. As the people of the town watched in. . . Morbid fascination. . . . . . . .So before I could get to 'And they lived happily ever after,' the grandmother broke in with "This is a highly improper story to tell children. Think of what you're teaching them." I answered, "Lady, with your big mouth, YOU just taught them that they want to ask everyone to tell them a 'Highly improper story. . . .'"
So the fact is I read the short story that inspired that sometime in the 7th-8th grade. Shortly after we were supposed to tell a story to the class that would depict a classmate; everyone would pick who they thought it was. All I had to do was mention a painfully well behaved girl in my version and everyone would laugh and look at a certain already at age 14 Scarlett Johansson type, who was of course giving me quite a hard look.
Leading to the story teaching us two things. It teaches us that if you build the bike the way Mr. Pxxxxx tells you to build it, he might give you a good conduct medal, but I doubt it. And what do you care about a good conduct medal, anyway? If you build it the way you want to after he told you not to, you'll probably piss him off. Hehe h ehe hehehehehehehh ehe hehehehe. They say living well is the best revenge. If so then vengeful living has got to just be so, oh, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Also, although this didn't really come up in this thread yet, it teaches us just how to deal with that stuckup girl you have your first crush on. I mean, just because you gave her that nickname she hated so much. (The Martyr) I mean, all this big effort to behave, because you know what she expects, but what does she do. She just HAS to use this to get even with you. So you know what? I'm GLAD I'm sarcastic. She can just think how much safer she could have felt come storytime. . . .
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